Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Me, 2 Toddlers, and a Toilet

First trip to church...Mommy and Daddy really needed some corporate worship, and we all sat in the sanctuary and worshipped together! Heavenly! Just heavenly!
I am loving the Mexican food, Mom. And look how great I manuever my fork. This is my "Mmmmm" look when I eat something I like! Can you see my brother Quan in the background? There's a better picture below.
I can get this yummy Mexican rice in my mouth so much faster if I just shovel it in. Who has time to work on table manners when there are so many other more important issues to work on right now...Someone please tell my Mom that I will learn table manners one day...
We are trying so hard not to laugh hysterically at our little brother!
We know we shouldn't laugh...we just can't help it!
I'm such a big boy at my int'l. adoption clinic appt!
Thank you Mrs. Anna from Lifeline coming to our clinic appts. to see us! We can't wait to meet you Mrs. Karla!
This dishwasher is fascinating!

Our first time to meet Jenna Hope Sumpter...one of the "China dolls" who God used to confirm to Mom and Dad about adopting us!

First of all let me say I'm sorry to those who I have not been able to return phone calls! Thank you for praying for us Monday, the day Rob went back to work! Things went really well....like exceptionally better than I ever expected kind of well. It was only the work of God. Rob told Quan he was going to work and he would be back. Quan said bye bye (except he said "I-I" b/c he can't say his b's) and never looked back! Same thing this morning too. Now, I'm not saying the day was easy. We definitely had our moments and issues. But the saying goodbye was so smooth thank you Jesus.

Monday was our int'l. adoption clinic appts. We learned a LOT about Kimmie and Quan's attachment and ways to foster an easier transition time. We're going to have to be vigilant about keeping things calm around here. Few outings, few visitors, and high structure and high nurture for these next two weeks. Kimmie and Quan have a ways to go in their attachment and adjustment. It is easy to feel like everything's okay because we're home and they're seemingly doing fine, but the biggest mistake we can make is ignoring the fact that these babies need to be around our family exclusively. We have seen glimpses that they still do not realize that we are their mama and daddy. Quan does so much better when things are kept at an even pace around the house. When things get chaotic, he tends to get more hyper, aggressive, and then defiant. He (and Kimmie too) have to learn that they can feel secure here and they can trust us. Keeping some order and peace around the house will help that. We learned all this Monday, after we already ventured out to church on Sunday. Looking back, I don't know that we did the right thing. Of course we didn't take them to the nursery, but Kimmie was held by everyone, and Quan went running wild with the kids. Those are GREAT things for toddlers who have been with their parents since birth...but for toddlers who have only been with their parents for a week....maybe not so good. So, we may or may not be back at church this Sunday...I know you all understand! We came last Sunday because Rob and I were desperate for some worship...and boy did we get it! Kimmie and Quan sat so great during worship and it was so wonderful to be back at church. Although it may not have been the best thing, it sure was a great thing for this Mama and Daddy! I know many of you who saw them at church probably thought they are doing SO great, and they are! BUT, the fact of the matter is that they have a LONG way to go, and Rob and I have to do everything we can to foster their attachment to US, first. It is hard for us to not get back to doing normal things quickly, but it won't be like this forever, and if we can make this process easier by keeping things on the down low for these first few weeks, we will do it!
The other things accomplished at the clinic Monday were check-ups, blood drawn (THAT was not fun!), and appointments made for the cleft clinic (Quan) and orthopedic dr. (Kimmie) We have 3 appointments in the next 3 weeks and we will keep you updated on what we find out. For those adoptive moms reading this...I strongly recommend the adoption clinic at UAB Children' South. Dr. Chambers has such a sweet spirit with these children. She truly understands them inside and out, and she made Rob and I feel normal and not crazy! We also met the clinic's social worker who specializes in facilitating attachment, Leigh Ann...she was such a blessing to us. Her words were straight from the heart of God to us, and we are so thankful we decided to use the clinic. With Quan's and Kimmie's physical and emotional issues, we were feeling so lost, but now after the visit, we feel like we have a LOT of help with these doctors and therapists behind us every step of the way. They are making this road a lot easier already! (As well as all of you prayer warriors who are praying us through!)

Now, you're probably wondering about the title of this post? Well, the potty and I are becoming really good friends. I am down at it's "eye" level more than any other thing in the house. First, taking two 2-year olds to the potty constantly. Second, I have to get 9 stool samples from each toddler over the next week. So yesterday I realized how much I love these children as I'm digging in the toilet. Sorry for the graphic. Third, just when I think I've really bonded with the toilet enough, Kimmie has learned how much fun it is to put things in the potty. Like her hair barrettes and suckers she might be eating. What can you do? Nothing but laugh!

Yesterday after his nap, Quan let me hold him for 30 minutes with his head against my chest. It was SO wonderful. Baby steps baby steps. One thing Dr. Chambers at the clinic said that I LOVE, is that you cannot judge how things are going just by how your day goes, because the days vary so much. She very wisely said that you have to judge by how the WEEK in general goes. I liked hearing that and needed to hear that.

Now, all my blogging friends....I really miss you! I need to catch up on all your family happenings and I'm going to SOON! So just because I haven't commented on your site, don't give up on me! I'm coming back to blog world as soon as I can take a break from toilet world!


20 comments:

The Young's said...

Laine,
Thanks for the update. We think about you guys daily...and pray for you too. We also have ventured out a little more than we probably should have. But hey...we're learning, right?!? Kids are resiliant...we'll get it right and they'll do just fine!!! We didn't go to church Sunday...but we might this week.

Thanks for the update too on their medical check up at the clinic. We've got to get our appointment made. We look forward to going.

I'm with you on the toilet thing. Sadie was so independant when we were in China...she could do SO much...now, I think she likes us to do for her...so I'm sitting in front of the potty a lot now too! I don't look forward to the stool sample thing...YUCK!! I think I'll get Mark to do that one!!!

Better go. I'm awfully tired. Thanks for updating your blog. We miss you guys!!!
Love ya,
Buffi

Anonymous said...

Love the update. I have been thinking so much about all of you and try to keep up with you thru Shalita. I am so glad you found good care givers at the Children's clinic and that you are taking their advise. Just know that we all love you and respect your needs. You know that if there is ANYTHING at all that you need, you let Shalita know and tell her to pass it on. As much as we all would love to see you, it is YOUR call when you are ready for visitors. On a lighter note, it is nice to know you have become one with the toilet. Loved the pics of dinner and I too would be giggling at Kimmie and Quan. I'll bet just about every meal is a new experience for them. At least they are willing to try new foods. That is a good thing. Give all the kids kisses and hugs. Let me know when Rob needs more suckers. GEE, I think I have PLENTY of them. I will be glad to meet him somewhere and bring them to him. Love y'all bunches. Ethel

Jeff and Sonya Hodge said...

You are such a doll! Thanks for the birthday wish.

We did everything Dr. Chambers and Leigh Ann said to do so we would not look back and think, well if only we had....
I LOVE to be on the GO GO so it was very hard for me to stay in and not let others hold Katie Lin. But we did it and now there are no regrets!

Just remember when the days seem like they will not end, this season will pass by so quickly.

Aaron and Erica said...

Oh Laine, you crack me up!

Thank you for updating us on your visit with Dr. Chambers. I was really looking forward to hearing how things went. I hope you are able to easily implement some of their suggestions into your daily lives.

I absolutely LOVE seeing Kimmie and Quan at home with their families! It gives me hope that one day it will happen for us as well! Thanks for sharing your lives with us!

Love,

Erica

mommy24treasures said...

hi Laine
I am so glad things are going well. Bless your heart, I can still only imagine how despite the wonderful joy I know you have in your heart how busy life is seeming. It sounds like God is giving you great wisdom in what you should do. Big Hugs and love
Connie

Greg & Cheri said...

Okay that is it I'm moving down to Alabama! YOur adoption clinic sounds wonderful! I'm so glad they are so helpful, what a blessing!! I remember collecting those fun samples and rushing them back to the doctors office.
If you need any cleft palate help just let me know.
Love,
Cheri

Green, Party of Four said...

Laine,
Welcome back. I got so used to getting my daily inpu from you guys everyday and I miss is so. Im so glad everything is working our wonderful. God is Good.....all...the....time!

WE loved Dr. Chambers and her staff. They have wonderful to work with and look forward to more followup visitis.

Each days bring more happiness that you get ever imagine. Just like tonight as I was taking Lily Grace upstairs to her bed and she was hugging me and saying "I love you Mommmy........then pause and say "SO MUCH". Her loves just melts my heart!

God has blessed her with some awesome children!

Try and get some rest and again, welcome back.

Promise----we will meet!

Love
Green Party of Four

Lisa said...

I love your sense of humor! I can't wait to meet you and your children. I know we have talked about meeting several times, but when you are ready to get out and about the zoo or something let me know I would love to meet up.
It is hard to stay at home especially when you have other children, but the bonding time is very important. You will get through all of this.

Sherri said...

Laine,

We asked them at church to take us off the nursery schedule for a year. That's what we did with Olivia, and I think it's important with Mia, too. Phil and I have to take turns taking the other kids to church. That's just the way life is for a while.

It sounds like things are going pretty well for you. I know you're still probably tired, though.

Mia did the shoveling food into her mouth thing! Are Kimmie andQuan neat freaks? Mia hates to make a mess!

Have a great day!

Sherri

Tina said...

Laine, I am soo glad you gave an update. I promise taking them to church didnt harm their development. But it is really true what Leighanne says about keeping them home. I didnt go anywhere!! One day I was really getting stir crazy and she said "GO", I literally buckled Sophie in and only went to the bank but it felt so good to get out!! How are they tolerating car seats? Praying for you daily!
Love
The Pierce's

Kimberly Davis said...

Laine,
I am very interested in Kimmie's updates about her hands. Are you meeting with Dr. Doyle? When I spoke with Dr. Chambers (I met her at the reunion and she is the sweetest- we are going to use her with Anna Brooke) she said that Dr. Doyle at children's hospital has a soft heart for these orphans.
Let me know if you see him and if you like him and what he says about Kimmie's arms and hands.
Karla is trying to get updates for us on Anna Brooke, but there is no guarantee when or if we will get them.
I have wanted to call you so much since you have been home, but I know you are busy. Please know that I am thinking about you and praying for ya'll everyday.
All of you children are so cute. I can't wait to hug then all!!!!
The mexican food pics are so cute! That's a huge positive that they love mexican!!!
Love,
Kimberly

Southern Cheesehead said...

Hey Ferrill Family!
I'm so glad that you had a moment to give us the down and dirty update...literally! It's good to hear that you guys are still clicking along on all cylinders. We miss you guys and totally understand if you need to be in the witness protection program for a while - being good parents to ALL your children is most important! I miss you guys still and hope to see you soon (not too soon though)
m & e, j & c

wareaglefam said...

Hey...we love you! You are doing such an incredible job!
Love and Hugs,
The McWhorter
Ps. Thanks for the goodies!

Leigh said...

I'm so glad things are going well for ya'll...I'm not surprised. When you follow God's calling He just seems to make things fall into place. Ya'll are such good stewards, Ferrills! Had God called me to something like this I believe I would've had to let the phone keep ringing! :)*
Can't wait to meet Kimmie and Quan, but we will save it for Sept. We'll be going through B'ham the 3rd weekend and if ya'll are available we'll see you then!
Love you all!

Dollar General said...

There is NOTHING like finding a Doctor that you can talk to and trust - that notices your children and their needs!

And what a GREAT mommy to go diggin' for GOLD! I could gag at the thought! Just handing over a diaper seems to be easier!

I'm glad you went to church - and I think the Lord was there with you keeping your little ones calm during service. The Lord knew you needed that so I don't think you made a mistake - especially if you got something out of it! Now, maybe going back every week might not be the best decision but "just this once" - you needed it! - Let me be your conscience - ha!! I wish I could have been there to see ya!

I had to laugh when I read Ethel's comment - the part about - "If you need anything let Shalita know and tell her to pass it own!" You know what I'm laughing about! You know that if it were me saying it (and it is) it would go something like: "If you need anything let Shalita know(period)" I gotta love you two girls! I know Shalita will take care of you!

Hang in there Laine! Still lovin' ya and praying for you!!

DeEtte said...

Laine,
Oh - toilet world. I had forgotten but you brought back the memories..

I think I took Hannah to church the first week too, but not the 2nd. Then, I started taking her again, but we'd enter the building just after the service started and leave before it ended. That way, we got to worship (and she loved the music) but people weren't coming up tryinig to hold her or talk to her afterwards. We did that for probably 2-3 months at least. It was so hard not to let the people that really did "pray her home" spend much time with her, but of course they understood..just as your church will as well. And while it may not seem like it on your end, it really is a small amount of time that you keep them so close. anyway, just another though on that one for ya.

They are beautiful, beautiful children and God has given you all you need to see them through these adjustment times. I love what the Mason's said on their blog (that I'm paraphrasing)..you can read all the blog world advice in the world and that's not a bad thing, but God is the one who knows your *specific* children inside and out and knows exactly what they need. (back to my words..ha) and he has equipped you and Rob to make those decisions as their parents.

Beautiful picture of all your kids before church too!
love, DeEtte

Mike and Barb said...

Laine, you're just too funny! I can tell you I SO appreciate Nina being potty trained! She is a champ, with only 1 accident at night since we got her. I'm sure the 'testing' you describe with such loving detail *LOL* will come soon too, although we don't have our labwork scheduled until the end of this month. Yeah, I'm still in denial of all this *ha*.
I think as far as the attachment and venturing out goes, you will know what the right amount is, as long as you err on the side of caution. We're pretty much back to normal here, we go to the store, the swimming pool, the park.... but really nobody is holding her (except for her Grandma who Nina LOVES!), and she wants me to carry her all the time anyway. I keep her close by, we do lots of snuggling, and she sleeps with us. I put her back on a bottle a couple of times a day, and she loves that snuggling time (so do I!). I think you're doing just fine!
You are blessed to have an adoption clinic in your area - out here in the sticks it's the pediatrician and that's it. She is really good though, but doesn't "know" that much about adoption issues I don't think. That's what I have you for, right? You keep sharing all your insight, and we'll be fine ;-))
Barb

Aunt Lyn said...

Laine, I'm so glad to know that you're going to take it easy on comings/goings/visiting for a while - I think that's very sound wisdom. At least until October when Rob gets more vacation & y'all can make a beach trip!!!!

Anonymous said...

laine-
loving the updates... and personally, i think the longer they are, the better :-) thanks for sharing all the details with us, it is so amazing to see what god is doing in your life... still praying for ya'll, can't wait to hear how the next few days go. kimmie and quan look so at home it is just too cute! hang in there with the potty stuff... and you can give teach me all the tricks in a year or so! haha! hope ya'll have a great weekend! love ~ jamie whitt

Granmart said...

Hi, Laine, ignore my messages to call me. I just read your blog and I totally understand and appreciate what y'all are doing. So, stay home ane be good! We'll try to keep y'all posted with our emails. Love you all, Mom.