Friday, May 28, 2010

Roller Coasters make me sick

They really do.

I rode on the Yeti in Animal Kingdom four years ago.

I walked off that ride and right to the bushes.

I rode on the Runaway Mine Train at Disney last year.

I walked off that ride and right to the bushes.

I feel I am on another roller coaster. Yet I'm not in Orlando.

One day Kevin feels okay, and I start to get excited. The next thing I know, he's feeling worse, and I start to worry.

Back and forth to the doctor we go. Up and down our days go by.

Today (written this past Tuesday) was a very fast, curvy, down day. I cried most of the day in fear we would repeat the emergency situation we survived on April 30. (I realize I have not told yall the details of Kevin's first draining of the fluid....it was a very scary day, and when I can type it without my hands shaking, I want to tell yall what happened.)

We went back to the hospital today to get Kevin checked out. Thankfully, thank you LORD, his fluid is little to nothing! The thickening of the fluid is not better though. It concerns our doctor, (and me). We got some blood work done, but other than his platelets and white blood cell count being a little on the low side, everything else looked good.

So back to roller coasters.

Last weekend was a smooth part of the ride...the recital was lots of fun, Kevin survived a very girly weekend, in fact he was mesmerized by the dancing on the stage and the music; Katie Lyn, Carlie, Kimmie & Candie danced their little hearts out, and we thoroughly enjoyed being able to enjoy a weekend together as a family. These days, we really do not take for granted family time at HOME.

I look at Kevin's fun little personality before surgery and I cry for how he used to be. My children do too. I try to tell them to find something to be thankful for in him. Right now, all they see is a sick little boy who isn't loving life very much.

So we are learning to accept him for WHO HE IS RIGHT NOW, not for who he used to be, or who he might be later. It is a good lesson in unconditional love. It is a good lesson in accepting the "hard knocks" of life. It is a good lesson in trusting our Father and depending on Him every second. It is a good lesson in not understanding the "whys", but understanding Who is in control. It is a good lesson in looking for rainbows in a storm. It is a good lesson in remembering how God brought us this little blessing, and He is working all this for GOOD--Romans 8:28. (By the way, each of our children wrote an essay on "Why I'm glad we adopted Kevin". They are precious, and maybe I can share them with you one day. They are treasures for Kevin to see how very much he is loved!)

Finally, it is a good lesson on riding roller coasters. As my sweet friend Shalita said, "I do not like roller coasters. I may shut my eyes tight the whole way, scream loudly, and hang on for dear life....but I will ride this one with you, Laine."

We're ALL hanging on tightly to the One who brings us through to the end of the ride! May He gain glory while we're on the track! ;)

4 comments:

Amy said...

Oh how I admire your strength and faith and positive attitude! God is with you on that roller coaster you know-as a matter of fact, you are probably sitting in His lap! Your girls are beautiful!! Sometime when you are not "heart" concerned I would love to hear your advice on cleft "stuff". We are facing an unexpected surgery and I know it is for his good but I hate to see him suffer! Love and Hugs! AmyHatcher

Our Journey to China said...

It was good to talk to you today. I miss seeing you guys and think of Guangzhou all the time. (shopping, Italian food, Starbucks, shopping) :0) You are truly and inspiration to me and my family. We think about and pray for you all everyday. I don't know the whats or whys for Kevin and you all, but I know the Who, and He does love you all so much and I know He is holding on to you tight, with His arms wrapped around you all right now, each and every up and down on this roller coaster ride. God is holding you in His hands. Love to you all! :0)

smallseven said...

Laine,
Thank you for sharing your life and heart with us. We're all riding this one with you! God is being glorified through you and your precious family right now! You just shine for Him! Thank you for sharing about your day of tears. I too am in a season of tears, and sometimes I just feel so unspiritual. One thing He keeps telling me is He hears my cries. He hears yours too! I'll keep praying daily for Kevin's complete healing. Our God is able! Psalm 57:1b " I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed." Psalm 28:6 " Praise be to the Lord, for He has heard my cry for mercy."

Jennifer Taylor said...

Heavenly Father, please bless this sweet family. Pour your blessings on them and give them the strength and encouragement they need each day. Show them love like only you can. In His Name, Amen.

God Bless You All! We will continue to pray that healing will be full and complete - soon!