Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Yogurt Mountain or When Mom Needed Back-Up

God gave Clay such a beautiful day for his birthday! We had a picnic at a really big park, and Rob brought lunch (Clay's choice: Taco Bell) for everyone. It was the kind of day where you just want to throw off your shoes and play on the playground yourself. Even if you are 40. And you lose your cell phone sliding down the slide. (Why in the world did I think I needed my cell phone on the slide anyway? A sign of the times, I tell ya. Sad.) The kind of day where you braid pine straw into jewelry for your girls and set up pine cones for your boys to kick field goals. Glorious!

And then Clay wanted to eat dessert at Yogurt Mountain. We had never been there before. I honestly didn't give it a second thought. Just another fun ice cream outing with the gang. No biggie. We said goodbye to Rob who had to go back to work, and we all climbed in the car, ready for some yumminess.

The shop had umbrella tables set up outside and several people were dining on their yogurt when we pulled up. Upon us piling out of the car like circus clowns, every single one of them stopped eating and stared at us. At first I was like "Good grief why are these people staring? Haven't they ever seen a bunch of kids before?"

The SECOND we opened the door to go in, I knew why those people were staring. They were all thinking:
"oh my word, this woman is taking all those children by herself into yogurt mountain? No way."

I saw two long aisles in front of us. One aisle was the "topping bar" and was about 5.3 miles long with approximately 5,673 toppings available for your dining pleasure. The second aisle was about 5.3 miles long with approximately 5,673 flavors of yogurt available for your dining pleasure.

The only reason I did not turn back around and flee was because one of the employees came out from behind the counter and asked, "Have you ever been here before?"
I squeaked out the word "no?"
She smiled confidently and said "Oh, well let me explain how it works."
Oh goody! Help was here! She was going to help me figure this all out.

Then she explained how it worked all right....with only two words:

Self. Serve.

A mom's worst nightmare.

A kid's dream come true.

The next thing I know, she has passed out taste-tester cups to ALL the children. Even Kevin. And said to them, "Feel free to taste the yogurt before you decide!"

HUH? I did not even have time to muster up a plan, a speech, nothing. The kids were GONE. Next thing I knew, Kevin has picked out the brightest pink yogurt to "taste-test" and is about to eat the ENTIRE taste tester cup...yes, cup and all. When it was all said and done, his shirt was tie-dyed.

And yes, Katie Lyn is 14. She was a HUGE help. But I needed about 4 more of her. Seriously. Because the boys who are 12 and 10 could not be relied on in such a display of sweet sugar heaven. Their eyes glassed over and all responsibility went OUT THE WINDOW at the sight of the heavenly panorama. Something about boys and food.

So after everyone tasted and decided on their favorite, they each got an enormous cup to fill with whatever yogurt and whatever toppings they wanted. Because at Yogurt Mountain, the cost of your dessert, no matter what you choose, is 45 cents per ounce.

By this time, I regained composure and managed to put Katie Lyn in charge of Kimmie and I had Kevin and Quan. Everyone else was on their own.

And then I turned around to one certain "on their own" who said "Mom, look at MINE!" Yall, it was about to spill over the top. Deep sigh. There was no way even King Kong could eat that much yogurt. Said child agreed to split his with me. Who cares that I didn't get to pick my yogurt, at this point. Do I really think I'm even going to get to eat it anyway? ;)

As if it's not hard enough to pick out your yogurt flavor, then you have to decide on toppings. Or just throw caution to the wind and get them all. Like Trix, Fruity Pebbles, Andes mints, Heath bar, white chocolate syrup, gummy get the picture. I did set some limits on the toppings. I mean, really.

After everyone got their yogurt and was settled inside eating happily, the chorus of "Brrrrrrrrrr...I'm cold" began! So we moved our ginormous cups of yogurt outside to the umbrella tables.

Where we sat and watched other unsuspecting moms walk in.

Funny, I didn't see any moms go in with a bunch of kiddos.


Seriously, it was a great birthday memory for Clay....and for all of us!


The Collier Bunch said...

That had to be a site. Glad he had a great birthday and you all created a memory.

Kristi said...

Would you still love me if I admitted that I had a little giggle at your expense? Only of course because I've found myself in similar situations...
Kinda reminds me of the waffle bar at the Garden hotel.

CK said...

Ohhhh WOW! If I would have been there I would have helped you!! You did put a smile on my face reading this though-go mama Laine!

Sam and Laurie Knowles said...

Ha ha...this made me laugh Laine! We went to Yogurt Mountain once last year. I was stressed with four kids and a husband! The kids loved the experience...they still talk about it. And Sam & I still talk about how we could have eaten a meal for the same cost as a cup of yogurt. :)

Pandamonium Mom said...

note to self: if Yogurt Mountain ever opens a franchise in my area, tell children that kind of yogurt tastes yucky! And then go on my lunch break at work without them. ha ha! I enjoyed this post - made me laugh. Because it was you and not me. Because I'm quite sure from your description I would have found it stressful enough with two.

Amy Murphy said...

I'm sure I would have been crying by the end! haha! But seriously, I have to find me one of these places (and leave the kiddo at home!)

Trace Car Driver said...

hilarious laine! i'm not laughing AT you, i'm laughing WITH you! ;)
i'm sure if you would have wanted us to know the grand total of your yougurt experience, you would have shared with us. but i'm dying to know exactly how much icecream you ferrill's fixed! ha.
you will never forget this fun memory. we haven't been there YET, and there might be a good reason for that. ha!

Dollar General said...

I thought Clay was 11 not "10" - so he had a whole nother year of maturity! He can handle the caous of YM...It's CRAZY in there! We make our kids get a tiny line of yogurt and then let them load up on the toppings (that's their favorite) they love that place! I can imagine how great it must be for them!


living4him5 said...

Great story, I can just picture you all getting out of the van. =)

Happy Birthday to Clay!

Love ya's

Shawna said...

Has anyone ever told you to write a book? I'm sure they have. I LOVE reading your adventures. I just wish I had as much calm in me as you do in these situations. I would be going bananas trying to deal with my 3 much less 8.
I'll remember to not make a trip to that lovely place with my 3 :).

Alycia said...

Happy birthday to Clay!
Laine, you are ONE brave Mama!
That place sounds like a blast! Make sure to take us there when we come up to visit someday!
Blessings and hugs to you all!
Alycia and family

Southern Cheesehead said...

Well, don't go to 32 degrees Yogurt at the summit either...same set up! I LOVE it!!!!!

Robyn said...

Great birthday memories! I personally would love to visit a yougurt mountain! :-)

The Byrd's Nest said...

I could have had just an entire cup of just the toppings!!!! Yummmm!!!!!! Sounds like a perfect day with your family!

I will be praying for your mom and the loss in your family.....such a hard time for everyone. Love you girl!

The Princess's Mommy said...

Oh my goodness!! This is hilarious and sounds so heavenly!! Maybe I need a trip to Yogurt Mountain! LOL

Love ya,