Tuesday, February 21, 2012

A Not So Deep Post

Last night I came very close to buying a whole chicken.

This would be huge for me, since I have this thing about meat, particularly meat on the bone. I steer clear of any meat that isn't ground. And even ground meat, I am picky about.

In my heart, I really want to get over this ridiculous issue. At the same time, I don't really care if I ever get over my ridiculous issue...because meat on the bone just grosses me out. It just does. And chunks of meat, like stew meat...ewww.

I don't even like cutting up chicken breasts. They're so rubbery and sometimes they have (finger in mouth as I say this) FAT on them. (thank you to my 4 older sisters who terrorized me when I was little and threatened to make me eat bowls of fat)

But last night I decided it was time to grow up. Be a big girl and cook a whole chicken and then tear it off the bone. It would be cheaper, and I mean really? How bad could it be?

I've never ever ever ever bought a whole chicken before, and frankly it didn't look like one chicken would be enough for our big ol' family. But Carlie helped me pick out one that didn't have a lot of blood under the shrink wrap (gross). As she put it in the buggy, I noticed the chicken arm sticking up under the shrink wrap.

Just sticking up, like a big flap. Put your elbow up behind you as far as you can and bend your arm. That is what the chicken was doing as it was going in to MY buggy to be taken to MY home.

I spotted that chicken arm and said "STOP!!!! Carlie, put it BACK!!!!!!!"

And that was the extent of my chicken buying.


MamaHen said...

This is one of the funniest things I have ever read! I can just see you deliberating in the store about it. Oh, I wish you had bought that chicken and then we could have had a good story about you taking the insides out and then cooking it!

jhand said...

Oh Laine I am soooo right with you on that. I have bought a couple of rotisserie chickens at the store lately and served them squimishly to my family. I used surgical gloves to pull the remaining meat off the bone for leftovers. I was thinking just last night, would it be so bad to cook a whole chicken? Shouldn't I be able to handle taking that bag of innards out? I mean my grandma used to just go out in the yard and kill a fresh one to make for her familiy's dinner. I do love an indivdually wraped chicken breast that can be dumped from the bag into a pan or crock pot and have not one drop of chicken juice on my hands or counter. This wimp thinks you did the right thing. And if one day you decide to actually do it, maybe you will inspire me to try it too.
Blessings to you and your crew!

Symasek Family Circus said...

Wonder if deer meat is any different? ;-)
miss seeing you guys!! Getting ready to be cabled!!

Kristi said...

I. LOVE. you!
And for the record, I knew we had some deeper connection. I too avoid meat on the bone ~ either my husband or my mom pulls chicken off the bone for me. :)

Our Journey to China said...

I love you, sweet Laine! I understand the meat and bone thing. It took me alot to overcome and them I regressed...it is a process. :) Poor chicken! ;p So glad you were not alone and had a helper in the moment!

southern cheesehead said...

I'm such a pitiful blog friend...just catching up on your posts. I have to say that this one coming up first was worth it...hilarious! I had heard some of Rob's prison story when I called one night...I think you were supposed to call me back, but there is no way I could remember what it was about in the first place. LOL

Sherri said...

This is hilarious.

So do you only serve ground meat...or are you okay with boneless chicken breasts? It's so much cheaper to do the whole chicken!!!!

I guess even though you're a mom of many, homeschooler kind of chick, you're not heading to be the woman who has chickens and goats in her back yard.

Steve and Jan said...

I am SOOOO with you on this one!

I have bought a whole chicken maybe twice (thinking it would be cheaper). Each time I said, "I will NEVER do this again!"

I really don't like any kind of meat very much and could EASILY go completely vegetarian (and have done so in the past).

Actually, after this post, going vegetarian again is sounding pretty good :0


Jennifer Taylor said...

Laine, you are hilarious!!! I totally agree with the meat on the bone thing though!

Dollar General said...

Very funny! Oh how much funnier this blog would have been if the chicken made it home. Oh the adventures. I cannot believe you made it as far as you did!! Nice try! Better luck next time!

Anonymous said...

Funny! But it looks like you are not alone! I think that chicken was trying to raise his hand to say, "Me! Pick me!". :)

Mike and Barb said...

Oh, my. good. gracious!!!!!
I'm gonna have to donwgrade your rating in my book from "super-incredible-power-mom" to "chicken-chicken"?????!!!!!!
This is super funny. Consider yourself lucky I don't live even remotely close, or I would be at your door in a few minutes, dragging you to the store.
Thanks for the laugh this early in the morning.
Love ya, chicken or not,

CK said...

Somehow even if that chicken made it home, I don't see how it would have made it onto the dinner table... (however for future reference you will need more than one)...I'll come cook and de-bone them for you!!

The Byrd's Nest said...

LOL...ohhh how I needed this giggle:) I don't mind touching them when they are this way but NOT with their heads on.... I draw the line:) lol BUT when eating a chicken, if I see any pink whatsoever I am totally grossed out by it and cannot eat anything else..yuck!

Luckily for me, Tyson sells frozen chicken breasts here in Mexico!!!!

The Kratzers said...

I totally understand. I finally got over my fear this summer and can now cook a chicken in the crockpot. It is actually really good!